a disciplinary wife & mom who spanks

providing clients with skills development, life-management, real accountability
&
no-nonsense spankings

a disciplinary wife
&
mom who spanks

providing clients with life-skills development, life-management, ongoing accountability,
&
no-nonsense spankings

So you're needing guidance, accountability, and real-life spankings?

Many people don't understand that, but

You're needing guidance, accountability, and real-life spankings?

Many people don't understand that, but .

I know your needs are real, and they've probably been there for a long time...

Maybe you were raised with accountability & consequences but feel like you never outgrew the need, or didn’t get that, but long to…

Maybe the thought of getting a spanking keeps growing with a consuming intensity that you can’t explain…

Maybe you know you need to be properly disciplined to learn from your choices, and have freedom from lingering guilt…

Maybe a fantasy a role-play scenario doesn’t appeal, a chains and leather situation sounds *interesting* but definitely not you, and all you keep thinking about is that middle-aged wife and mom who spanks…

Maybe you even wonder what it would be like if she really spanked you, too…

So, what if…?

I know your needs are real, and they've probably been there for a long time...

Maybe you were raised with accountability & consequences but feel like you never outgrew the need, or didn’t get that, but long to…

Maybe the thought of getting a spanking keeps growing with a consuming intensity that you can’t explain…

Maybe you know you need to be properly disciplined to learn from your choices, and have freedom from lingering guilt…

Maybe a fantasy a role-play scenario doesn’t appeal, a chains and leather situation sounds *interesting* but definitely not you, and all you keep thinking about is that middle-aged wife and mom who spanks…

Maybe you even wonder what it would be like if she really spanked you, too…

So, what if…?

What if...?

What if… You were never meant to outgrow the need for accountability and consequences?

What if… There was someone out there who truly understood this and thought it was good, beautiful, and healthy that you can recognize it?

 What if… Having a caring but firm authority figure who spanked you wasn’t simply something you experienced or missed out on in childhood, but something you could experience right now?

What if… The option for getting your real discipline needs met didn’t require you to pretend?

What if… Your real needs didn’t have to remain a consuming thought, but could become a very real and present reality?

And what if… There really was that middle-aged wife and mom who spanked, and you found out that she had *no* problem spanking you, too?

 

What if...?

What if… You were never meant to outgrow the need for accountability and consequences?

What if… There was someone out there who truly understood this and thought it was good, beautiful, and healthy that you can recognize it?

 What if… Having a caring but firm authority figure who spanked you wasn’t simply something you experienced or missed out on in childhood, but something you could experience right now?

What if… The option for getting your real discipline needs met didn’t require you to pretend?

What if… Your real needs didn’t have to remain a consuming thought, but could become a very real and present reality?

And what if… There really was that middle-aged wife and mom who spanked, and you found out that she had *no* problem spanking you, too?

 

What if...?

What if… You were never meant to outgrow the need for accountability and consequences?

What if… There was someone out there who truly understood this and thought it was good, beautiful, and healthy that you can recognize it?

 What if… Having a caring but firm authority figure who spanked you wasn’t simply something you experienced or missed out on in childhood, but something you could experience right now?

What if… The option for getting your real discipline needs met didn’t require you to pretend?

What if… Your real needs didn’t have to remain a consuming thought, but could become a very real and present reality?

And what if… There really was that middle-aged wife and mom who spanked, and you found out that she had *no* problem spanking you, too?

 

I am Maia...

And everything about me is absolutely real.

I am that middle-aged mom across the street who is loving, affectionate, attentive, and who sets boundaries and limits for my kids that come with spankings attached when not obeyed. My kids are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and hopefully won’t grow up to be assholes.

I am a wife to my husband who also shares those same limits, boundaries, and same consequences– and he is all the amazing things he was when I met him, but has also grown and blossomed because of my discipline.

I am Maia, and I am a very real mom and wife who spanks.

I believe in the necessity of drawing boundaries and setting limits.

I believe in the importance of consistently enforcing them as a reminder of my love, and their safety.

And yes…

I believe in the value and benefits of a bare-bottomed spanking– something I hand out quite consistently at home.

I am a professional with many years of non-profit leadership and case management experience, helping people order their lives, plan, and problem solve.

As a professional disciplinarian, I combine my two worlds to serve the clients who work with me.

Like my professional world, I will help you improve the areas of your life that need to be addressed. But just like at home with my husband and kids, I will absolutely be using real-life bare-bottomed spankings to hold you accountable for choices– something that we officially refer to as Domestic Discipline:

I am Maia...

And everything about me is absolutely real.

I am that middle-aged mom across the street who is loving, affectionate, attentive, and who sets boundaries and limits for my kids that come with spankings attached when not obeyed. My kids are happy, healthy, well-adjusted, and hopefully won’t grow up to be assholes.

I am a wife to my husband who also shares those same limits, boundaries, and same consequences– and he is all the amazing things he was when I met him, but has also grown and blossomed because of my discipline.

I am Maia, and I am a very real mom and wife who spanks.

I believe in the necessity of drawing boundaries and setting limits.

I believe in the importance of consistently enforcing them as a reminder of my love, and their safety.

And yes…

I believe in the value and benefits of a bare-bottomed spanking– something I hand out quite consistently at home.

I am a professional with many years of non-profit leadership and case management experience, helping people order their lives, plan, and problem solve.

As a professional disciplinarian, I combine my two worlds to serve the clients who work with me.

Like my professional world, I will help you improve the areas of your life that need to be addressed. But just like at home with my husband and kids, I will absolutely be using real-life bare-bottomed spankings to hold you accountable for choices– something that we officially refer to as Domestic Discipline:

1. relating to the management of life.
2. pertaining to one's real life, not fantasy.

1. the process of teaching & guiding.
2. to formally administer consequences to redirect and deter future behavior.

1. relating to the management of life.
2. pertaining to one's real life, not fantasy.

1. the process of teaching & guiding.
2. to formally administer consequences to redirect and deter future behavior.

a system that helps one manage their physical and emotional life through guidance and accountability to a real authority figure, who will
really spank you.

1. Relating to the management of life.

2. One’s real life; not fantasy.

1. The process of teaching and guiding.

2. To formally administer consequences to deter future behavior.

A system of life-management where one receives guidance and accountability from a real authority figure who will really spank you.

So if you came here looking for a real disciplinarian to meet your real spanking needs...

So if you came here looking for a real disciplinarian to meet your real spanking needs...

You just did.

I can assure you, the consequence you have coming will be an authentic, bare-bottomed, disciplinary spanking…

And it won’t be the first one I’ve given out this week.

Services Offered

My role as a professional disciplinarian is an extension of the real-life disciplinary wife and mom who spanks. What I offer is exclusively rooted in true discipline and accountability.

Specific services offered are limited to:

-Punishment Spankings

-Spanking aftercare

-Mouth soaping

-Reflective consequences (corner time, writing assignments, etc.)

-Life-skills development, goal setting, problem solving

-Behavior change planning, implementation & accountability

-DD Relationship Consulting for couples or individuals

-Phone consultations/phone sessions

Things off-limits:

Anything sexual in nature: any sexual request, inappropriate sexual comments, or attempt to self-pleasure will result in the session being immediately terminated with no refund and no possibility of future sessions. 

Services that fall outside of traditional discipline, such as:

BDSM type services (think nontraditional punishments, hot wax, foot worship, fetish services etc.)

Fantasy, role play (other than the context I describe in the FAQs), age play, requests for costumes, sexy or revealing clothing, etc.

Requests to degrade, humiliate you, or refer to you as anything other than your name. You might be a daddy, but you’re not my daddy. I will call you by your name, period.

Requests to call me anything other than Maia or Ma’am. Do not refer to me as “mommy” or any form thereof.

Services Offered

My role as a professional disciplinarian is an extension of the real-life disciplinary wife and mom who spanks. What I offer is exclusively rooted in true discipline and accountability.

Specific services offered are limited to:

-Punishment Spankings

-Spanking aftercare

-Mouth soaping

-Reflective consequences (corner time, writing assignments, etc.)

-Life-skills development, goal setting, problem solving

-Behavior change planning, implementation & accountability

-DD Relationship Consulting for couples or individuals

-Phone consultations/phone sessions

Things off-limits:

Anything sexual in nature: any sexual request, inappropriate sexual comments, or attempt to self-pleasure will result in the session being immediately terminated with no refund and no possibility of future sessions. 

Services that fall outside of traditional discipline, such as:

BDSM type services (think nontraditional punishments, hot wax, foot worship, fetish services etc.)

Fantasy, role play (other than the context I describe in the FAQs), age play, requests for costumes, sexy or revealing clothing, etc.

Requests to degrade, humiliate you, or refer to you as anything other than your name. You might be a daddy, but you’re not my daddy. I will call you by your name, period.

Requests to call me anything other than Maia or Ma’am. Do not refer to me as “mommy” or any form thereof.

Session Options

Discovery

A specially designed, extended session for individuals who are finally taking the first step to discover and explore their discipline needs.

If you’ve spent years working up the courage to get to this point, a special Discovery Session is your opportunity to take that first step in the safest environment possible.

In this discounted, extended session, you’ll finally experience being able to discuss your spanking needs with someone who understands them, cares about them, and who will walk with you on the vulnerable journey of discovery.

Session will include several (completely optional) spanking opportunities followed by processing and dialogue as you discover your own nuances. This will include the opportunity to experience various spanking positions, a variety of implements, and a various degrees of a spanking. Session concludes with a discussion about what you’ve discovered, and an exploration of what the next steps for you might be.

Details | Apply

Discovery

An extended session for those taking the first steps in exploring their spanking needs.
Session: 2 hours
Apply Now

Acceptance

A to-the-point session for ongoing clients who have accepted they have a spanking coming, and understand I'll be giving it shortly after I get there.

You absolutely know this spanking is coming, and you know exactly why it's coming. We already discussed it and there's no debate, negotiating consequences, or need to rehash the fact that it's happening when I arrive.

You've moved into acceptance around the fact that I am on my way, and that when I arrive a spanking will shoot to the top of my to-do list with little delay

Just as it is so often in my own home, once I arrive and we briefly settle in, I'll remind you that there's "unfinished business" we need to take care of-- a phrase my husband and sons know means, "I didn't forget about your spanking, and so lets head to the room and take care of that right now."

Without me tolerating stalling or protest, you will quickly find yourself unsuccessfully attempting to cover your bottom and wishing today had been one of those days when I worked late. Besides getting the spanking you need, an acceptance session will show you what it's *really* like to live in my home-- because this is a rather average night for me.

Details | Apply

Acceptance

A get-to-the-point session for those ready to handle our unfinished business. Not available for first-time clients
Session: 30 minutes
Apply Now

Accountability

A traditional session for times when you have discipline coming, along with an serious discussion first.

Go ahead, squirm in that chair. It's not going to get you out of the spanking-- and it's not going to get you out of doing some emotional work around why I'm about to spank you and how things are going to change moving forward.

Discipline from a caring but firm authority figure is ultimately about helping guide and direct someone to a better future, which means the discipline process includes more than simply administering consequences (which are coming, don't you worry about that.)

Because I care and want to help you be the best version of you, we'll sift through what's going in your life-- especially regarding the situation at hand.

In this standard hour-long session, we'll look at areas that need some changes, and will work on life-skills development to identify tools you can employ in order to avoid this happening again in the future.

And yes, as you sense the conversation is drawing close to a conclusion, those butterflies you'll instantly feel in your stomach will be for good reason-- because they're alerting you to the fact that the moment for your spanking has finally arrived and that you won't be able to delay it any longer.

Details | Apply

Accountability

A session that's more than just consequences, but includes learning & personal growth
Session: 1 hour
Apply Now

Stability

Experience the stability and personal growth of having a caring but firm authority figure in your life who will give you guidance and discipline with the longer-term Stability program.

While having boundaries and discipline in your life can foster emotional safety and spur personal growth, the glue that makes the formula work has always been consistency.

Domestic Discipline is one of those tools that works best when it is applied consistently over time. Old behavior patterns do not change overnight, and long-term goals cannot be reached in a day. 

The Stability track is selective where only a few clients are in one at any given time. It involves longer term commitment which gives us time to begin focusing on goals or behavior changes we've agreed to. During this time you will have signed a Domestic Discipline contract with me, which means that while I am investing in helping your move closer to your goals, I will also be free to spank you as I see fit in order to help get you there.

For those who take the courageous step to invest in themselves, I am willing to invest back in you- both in going the extra mile to help you improve your life, and by crafting a stability package just for you.

Details | Apply

Stability

Stability packages are limited to select clients. Those selected and approved will have a program designed specifically for them, often with a flat monthly fee.
Apply Now

DD Relationship Consulting

For individuals or couples seeking guidance and support as they initiate or navigate a domestic discipline relationship.

Are you needing support in preparing to tell your partner about your real-life discipline needs?

Did your partner recently confide in you about their deep need for discipline, and now you're trying to sort it all out?

Are the two of you beginning to establish your domestic discipline relationship, but realizing you'd benefit from being able to confidently talk to a couple who is successfully living it and has plenty of wisdom and advice?

As firm believers in the way a foundation of domestic discipline can lead to a happy and healthy relationship, James and I love nothing more than helping other couples exploring or navigating the domestic discipline lifestyle.

Relationship consulting sessions can be by phone or Skype, and having James participate in the consultations, helps bring critical insight and advice from the other side of a DD relationship.

Details | Apply

DD Relationship Consultations

Apply Now

Bring the Spanking to You...

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

2018 will be over before you know it, but it’s not too late to bring the spanking you need and deserve straight to you. If you’re ready to receive the discipline you know you have coming, there’s no point in delaying the inevitable. Taking a few minutes to complete a travel package application will get us on our way and one step closer to making your much needed discipline a reality.

Now accepting sponsorship & travel session applications* for:

Boston:

 (Booking now for Nov 10 & 11– sessions still available! )

San Francisco 

 (Always accepting applications)

Washington D.C:

 (Spring 2019 )

Seattle

Denver

Las Vegas 

Phoenix 

NYC

 

(Cities without dates assigned are accepting applications and will be assigned dates when sufficient interest has been expressed. Cities with dates are scheduled trips where I am prepared to book and schedule your session today.)

 

Frequently Asked Questions

I am a wife and mother who lives and works in Orange County, California.

In addition to having more than 16 years of parenting under my belt, I am a professional with 10+ years of case management, crisis intervention, and direct service provision experience to marginalized people and communities in the OC.

Protecting your privacy is one of my highest concerns. You can expect the same degree of professional privacy and protection from me that you’d experience from a medical professional or lawyer. In fact, part of the intake process will include us both signing a mutual confidentiality and nondisclosure agreement, which will legally protect both our privacy.

Interestingly enough, I haven’t always been interested in spanking.

I was a single mom who was navigating parenting for the first time on my own and it fell into my lap, so to speak. My older boys were teens by this point and had asked for spanking as an alternative to being grounded or losing their phones and video games. 

Around the same time, my partner shared with me about his need for discipline. He believed he had a need for real discipline and spankings also. He admitted that he’d struggled with secrecy and embarrassment around this ever since he was my son’s ages. 

It turns out that he’d spent most of his childhood growing up largely unparented and he’d realized the detrimental emotional impact it had on him. Things like missing out on being taught life skills, having no boundaries, and not being held accountable for less than stellar choices, had left him with a great deal of unmet needs, insecurity, and lack of safety. 

After doing a lot of emotional work around the years he spent hidden with embarrassment and shame because of his need for discipline, and after realizing it wasn’t a sexual fetish but was rooted in an emotional need for guidance, accountability, and real spankings, we decided that a system where he could learn all those missed lessons from childhood and where he’d be getting very real spankings when appropriate, would be the path to growth and healing.

I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t always an idea I was open to.

I’d avoided physical discipline throughout their younger childhood because I’d equated it to abuse. Had my children not been of the age where they were able to initiate and have multiple conversations over several months about the issues related to discipline, or weigh the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision on their own, I would have never gone down that road. 

While I think that physical discipline for a child who is unable to process and reason like a teenager or adult can be abusive, it’s an entirely different situation when someone expresses a need and then freely makes an informed choice after thorough and repeated discussions about what that decision would mean.

The mere fact that my boys were the ones who initiated and requested spankings as a consequence and have chosen it as their preferred method of discipline even when I continually offer them alternative consequences each time, reminds me that my kids not only feel safe and cared for, but that they’re learning the lessons that real consequences bring.

My kids don’t enjoy it one bit and that’s what makes it so effective. As for my husband, he initially thought there might be some level of sexual gratification attached to a spanking. After a few real spankings, however, he quickly realized that wasn’t happening. 

As people are exploring and figuring out who they are, there can be a certain level of romanticizing the desired outcome. Most people figure out really quickly whether this is kink, sexual, or something else.  In his case, the ‘something else’ was anything but sexual.

To me, DD is about so much more than the actual discipline. It’s about the deep emotional needs that are being met. It’s about making sure that you are seen, feeling understood, knowing you are accepted, and so much more. 

The journey to offering discipline both inside and outside my home was one filled with unexpected discoveries. We were surprised to discover our family experienced more emotional stability, connection, and safety. There was a resolution that helped move us forward and not only facilitate connection, but the release of guilt.  I have a great deal of empathy for those who are either just figuring this out about themselves, but also those who know this has been a need and have gone without for so long. I’ve seen what happens when this need goes unmet. I’ve seen how difficult it is to talk about or even acknowledge these unique needs. 

Realizing there were others out there who have these same critical needs going unmet left me feeling compelled to reach out professionally, and see if I could help meet that need. The ability to provide a safe, consistent space so that people can thrive is something that brings me great joy.

Absolutely. Your spanking will be real and it won’t be the only one I’ve given out this week.

I have many friends and colleagues who are Dommes, and I appreciate what they do and the clients they serve– but I am not a dominatrix.

A dominatrix provides services within BDSM that are far more broad than a domestic disciplinarian, where the ultimate goal is pleasure or gratification– even if that is by means of psychological play such as degradation or humiliation, bondage, or a combined infliction of pain by various means that may include, but are not limited to, traditional spanking.

That is not what I do.

I will not tie you up and humiliate you, and your pleasure in not my concern. My focus is on helping people become the best versions of themselves, like I do for my husband and children. That includes guidance, firm accountability, and real-spankings when they have been earned.

I don’t offer any services geared towards sexual fetish, sexual arousal, or sexual gratification. The good news is, there are many amazing BDSM providers here in the Orange County and Los Angeles area who are more than capable of meeting your needs. 

If you are struggling with determining whether you are discipline oriented, we can work together to do some exploration and basic reality testing to help you along your journey. Please note that I am unable to offer references for anyone offering any type of fetish, bondage, or sex-related services.

I love helping people figure out who they are and explore different parts of themselves. That means everyone. Discipline needs aren’t exclusive to one gender.

Each individual is unique, which is why I have an application process that helps me get an initial sense of each client’s needs. As we walk forward, each session is structured around the work we’re doing, your specific needs, and any discipline that I’ve decided has been earned.

Not everyone wants to do more intentional, deeper self reflection and I understand that. For some, receiving discipline is adequate and I am willing to accommodate if that’s where you’re most comfortable- I offer a session called Acceptance for these clients.

For those clients who are ready to do some processing around behavior, life-patterns, and not-so-good choices, and for those who are looking for a more encompassing Domestic Discipline experience that leads to longer term real-life change, I offer both one-time sessions and a longer term program that accomplishes that.

In addition to having more than 16 years of parenting four kids under my belt, I am a professional with 10+ years of case management, crisis intervention, and direct service provision experience. I am equipped, experienced, and ready to help you change your life in tangible ways if you’re ready to invest in yourself.

Anyone can make you cry out as the result of physical pain, but the emotional reaction that comes from connecting your behavior to your consequences is not something that can be manufactured by me.

Though I want you to get the most emotionally out of your session, and I understand that for some crying is important to many people, this is not an experience I can or cannot create for you. The more deeply you emotionally connect with your consequences, the more you will get out of your discipline- I will encourage and help you to do that, but I can’t do it for you. 

However, if you are concerned that you are not going to get the spanking you need and deserve, I would like to assure you right now that you will never have to worry about that. 

No. Safe words will not be necessary, nor are they allowed

Our relationship is built on trust and letting me determine the spanking you need and deserve is part of that trust. The spanking you get would not be effective as intended if you were to have the ability to stop it just because it was unpleasant in the moment. 

During the application process and initial consultation, you’ll be able to list your “hard limits” or firm boundaries. Along with reality or limit testing (for those intending to see me more than once), or using my experience and excellent read of a person who I am spanking, we will quickly have both a spoken and instinctive set of boundaries established for both emotional and physical safety.

For Discovery Sessions, any spanking that happens will be completely optional and will include lots of communication.

However, for those who desire to have more than one session in order to address real life changes, we will eventually move into a consensual non-consent agreement around your discipline. In these cases it’s real discipline for real behavior.

In my experience, many people who finally seek out disciplinary spankings do so after years and years of thinking about it. During that time it can often become romanticized, or for some, the thought of it can become really exciting– it’s a process where one can easily forget the fact that disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt.

Reality testing is simply that first true disciplinary spanking someone gets to test what they think about it in reality, instead of just imagination. It includes determining what kind of physical pain limits you have, how you respond to certain implements, and the verbal processing that follows. Often spanking has been idealized for so long that one needs to come to terms with the reality that a disciplinary spanking is not enjoyable in the moment, even if it remains true that you need them in life.

Well, an actual spanking doesn’t always last very long, and anyone I’ve ever spanked hasn’t wanted it to. The length of the spanking you receive can depend on a variety of factors in a given situation. What I do know is that you’ll want it to be over before it is over.

Your input is actually a critical component of how I individually tailor and structure our sessions together, which is why I have a thorough application process.

However, I will not entertain fantasy scenes. I am a real-life disciplinarian, not an actress. 

If role play is a verbal processing method that we can use to work through any emotional blocks you may be experiencing around understanding, exploring, or accepting the part of you that knows it needs discipline, we can discuss this. 

Regarding actual spanking scenarios however, I am open to a degree of reality-based role play if it achieves emotional freedom from a real-life past event. Some people sit with years of lingering guilt from something they did and got away with, either in the past or recently. In these cases, I am willing to discuss the possibility of a reality-based role play where we revisit that moment in time, and administer the spanking that you should have gotten. 

While I am open to talking through any role play issues, fetishizing or sexualizing discipline is not something I do. Again, there are many other wonderful providers in Orange County who are better suited to bring that to life for you.

While I love a good old fashioned hand spanking and definitely have my favorite paddle, I have several implements with which I administer discipline with.

Some clients have implements that are sentimental favorites, while others have aversions to certain implements rooted in deep trauma. I’m sensitive to your experiences and what’s shaped them so that we can work to create the safest and most effective discipline experience possible. The application process includes getting a sense of any particular preferences you have, as well as any implements that will be considered “hard limits” and never used.

In addition to that, I’m skilled at assigning alternative and complementary punishments to complete your discipline. Alternative and complementary punishments can include (but are not limited to):

Reflective consequences, mouth soaping, assigned chores with a restorative focus, corner time, etc. Like implements, in your application process we’ll look at what complementary punishment methods will be on the table for you, and which ones will not be.

I do not offer in-call discipline sessions. I find that a home, office, or other location you feel is safe and secure is the best place to administer discipline. If you have concerns about privacy, noise, or confidentiality, we can work around those to find solutions and will discuss that in our initial meeting.

Whether it is a more formal business attire, business casual, or current everyday attire, I am a professional who can blend to fit the environment in which we will be meeting. While I’m sure that you have only the best of intentions, do not ask me to meet you in an abandoned warehouse or in a back alley. Seriously, just don’t.

Regarding your privacy, this is one of my highest concerns. You can expect the same degree of professional privacy and protection from me that you’d experience from a medical professional or lawyer. In fact, part of the intake process will include us both signing a mutual confidentiality and nondisclosure agreement, which will legally protect both our privacy.

Yes.

When traveling out of Orange County during times I’m willing to book sessions, I will post cities and dates here on my site.

I also am available for travel directly to those clients who are ready to invest in the most authentic discipline experience they can imagine. In these cases we’ll work to negotiate details so that we can maximize the benefit of your discipline investment. When filling out the initial contact form simply indicate you’re willing to invest in me coming to you, and I’ll send you that application to get things started.

Well, you don’t automatically get to book a session– you can apply to book a session.

The first step is to fill out the initial contact form which has some basic information, such as whether you would be a one-time client from out of town with only specific availability for your session, or if you live in the geographical area and have more flexibility as to when we would schedule our first meeting.

If I am available and your initial contact seems like you’d be an appropriate candidate to become a client, you’ll hear back from me and I’ll send you the preliminary questions & paperwork you’ll need to complete in order for us to officially book the session. Knowing who I will be working with, and knowing as much about your needs up front as I can, is critical to a successful session for both of us. As such, I will not formally book your session unless or until we’ve completed the intake. 

I do, actually, for those clients who would benefit from that. I have a male disciplinarian who exclusively works with me a few times throughout the year. He shares all of my core values and beliefs, and is essentially a male version of me– a mid 40’s real-life spanking dad who understands the deep rooted nature of discipline needs.

Like me, he didn’t arrive here because of a sexualized or fetish interest in spanking, but through a similar combination of raising children who independently initiated spanking in the home, as well as through his work as a coach and mentor. After noticing a pattern of both male and female clients confiding in him about this deep need for accountability and discipline, we began working together to serve those clients who might want or need to experience a male disciplinarian or a “parental” feel of having both of us together, but who also want the emotional safety of knowing there is not a sexual component or fetish motivation for him.

He is available by advanced request for either individual sessions, phone sessions (he provides incredibly wise and insightful guidance), and joint sessions with me.

Absolutely.

Be respectful, be serious, and be flexible.

First, those who have their sessions approved are individuals who understand I am a professional service provider, and who have the same respectful interaction that you’d be expected to have anywhere else. If you do not address me respectfully, or if there are any inappropriate comments in your initial session request, you’ll never hear back from me.

Second, be serious about exploring or addressing your discipline needs– because they’re serious needs to me. The clients I am most motivated to work with are the ones who show a commitment to themselves, who are ready to discover and explore their potential needs, or to finally have their actualized needs met, and who sincerely desire to grow and develop in various ways. 

Finally, be flexible. If you’re from out of town and have only one date available, I may or may not be able to accommodate that. If you give a choice of dates, or are locally located and intending to do longer-term work together, flexibility in your schedule will dramatically improve our chances of working together.

No. 

I understand that each individual person comes with a different story and different needs, both known and yet to be discovered. When it comes to my clients, I am deeply invested in working together to uncover, explore, and understand them; self-discovery and self acceptance is among my highest goals and hopes for each client.

The bulk of my job is one of emotional labor– I want to know those individual stories, and to help each individual understand their own needs. However, because I invest in this process and take it very seriously, it is one I exclusively reserve for my clients. They deserve nothing less.

If you’re wanting or needing to explore your spanking needs but cannot have a personal session with me, I would be happy to offer you phone consultations/sessions where we can do that.

I am not a Mistress, nor a goddess. I am Maia or Ma’am. While our sessions include spanking, I am a professional. If you wouldn’t say it or do it with a counselor or case manager, don’t do it with me– it won’t get you a harder spanking, it’ll just lead to the session ending immediately with no refund.

Yes. Like yours, my time is valuable. I require that new clients put a 50% deposit on their first few sessions. If you are unable to make your session and need to reschedule, I require 24 hours notice. 

Who are you?

I am a wife and mother who lives and works in Orange County, California.

In addition to having more than 16 years of parenting under my belt, I am a professional with 10+ years of case management, crisis intervention, and direct service provision experience to marginalized people and communities in the OC.

Have you always been “into” spanking?

Interestingly enough, I haven’t always been interested in spanking.

I was a single mom who was navigating parenting for the first time on my own and it fell into my lap, so to speak. My older boys were teens by this point and had asked for spanking as an alternative to being grounded or losing their phones and video games. 

Around the same time, my partner shared with me about his need for discipline. He believed he had a need for real discipline and spankings also. He admitted that he’d struggled with secrecy and embarrassment around this ever since he was my son’s ages. 

It turns out that he’d spent most of his childhood growing up largely unparented and he’d realized the detrimental emotional impact it had on him. Things like missing out on being taught life skills, having no boundaries, and not being held accountable for less than stellar choices, had left him with a great deal of unmet needs, insecurity, and lack of safety. 

After doing a lot of emotional work around the years he spent hidden with embarrassment and shame because of his need for discipline, and after realizing it wasn’t a sexual fetish but was rooted in an emotional need for guidance, accountability, and real spankings, we decided that a system where he could learn all those missed lessons from childhood and where he’d be getting very real spankings when appropriate, would be the path to growth and healing.

So, wait: when you say you’re a mom and wife who spanks both her husband and teen-aged boys, that’s not just hype? But isn’t spanking kids frowned upon even, within the spanko community?

I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t always an idea I was open to.

I’d avoided physical discipline throughout their younger childhood because I’d equated it to abuse. Had my children not been of the age where they were able to initiate and have multiple conversations over several months about the issues related to discipline, or weigh the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision on their own, I would have never gone down that road. 

While I think that physical discipline for a child who is unable to process and reason like a teenager or adult can be abusive, it’s an entirely different situation when someone expresses a need and then freely makes an informed choice after thorough and repeated discussions about what that decision would mean.

The mere fact that my boys were the ones who initiated and requested spankings as a consequence, AND have chosen it as their preferred method of discipline even when I continually offer them alternative consequences each time, reminds me that my kids not only feel safe and cared for, but that they’re learning the lessons that real consequences bring.

Okay, so I’m guessing it’s a safe bet that your kids don’t actually like it when they get a spanking, but what about your husband- is there some sort of underlying sexual aspect to this dynamic?

My kids don’t enjoy it one bit and that’s what makes it so effective. As for my husband, he initially thought there might be some level of sexual gratification attached to a spanking. After a few real spankings, however, he quickly realized that wasn’t happening. 

As people are exploring and figuring out who they are, there can be a certain level of romanticizing the desired outcome. Most people figure out really quickly whether this is kink, sexual, or something else.  In his case, the ‘something else’ was anything but sexual.

So how or why did your personal experience at home and in marriage lead you to become a professional disciplinarian?

To me, DD is about so much more than the actual discipline. It’s about the deep emotional needs that are being met. It’s about making sure that you are seen, feeling understood, knowing you are accepted, and so much more. 

The journey to offering discipline both inside and outside my home was one filled with unexpected discoveries. We were surprised to discover our family experienced more emotional stability, connection, and safety. There was a resolution that helped move us forward and not only facilitate connection, but the release of guilt.  I have a great deal of empathy for those who are either just figuring this out about themselves, but also those who know this has been a need and have gone without for so long. I’ve seen what happens when this need goes unmet. I’ve seen how difficult it is to talk about or even acknowledge these unique needs. 

Realizing there were others out there who have these same critical needs going unmet left me feeling compelled to reach out professionally, and see if I could help meet that need. The ability to provide a safe, consistent space so that people can thrive is something that brings me great joy.

Oh… so, when you say that your services are rooted in real accountability, and very real spankings used as consequences, you actually mean it, huh?

Absolutely. Your spanking will be real and it won’t be the only one I’ve given out this week.

What is the difference between a domestic disciplinarian like yourself, and a dominatrix?

I have many friends and colleagues who are Dommes, and I appreciate what they do and the clients they serve– but I am not a dominatrix.

A dominatrix provides services within BDSM that are far more broad than a domestic disciplinarian, where the ultimate goal is pleasure or gratification– even if that is by means of psychological play such as degradation or humiliation, bondage, or a combined infliction of pain by various means that may include, but are not limited to, traditional spanking.

That is not what I do.

I will not tie you up and humiliate you, and your pleasure in not my concern. My focus is on helping people become the best versions of themselves, like I do for my husband and children. That includes guidance, firm accountability, and real-spankings when they have been earned.

Do you offer spanking sessions that are fetishized or geared more towards sexual turn-on/sexual gratification?

I don’t offer any services geared towards sexual fetish, sexual arousal, or sexual gratification. The good news is, there are many amazing BDSM providers here in the Orange County and Los Angeles area who are more than capable of meeting your needs. 

If you are struggling with determining whether or not you are discipline oriented, we can work together to do some exploration and basic reality testing to help you along your journey. Please note that I am unable to offer references for anyone offering any type of fetish, bondage, or sex-related services.

In general, what would a session with you look like?

Each individual is unique, which is why I have an application process that helps me get an initial sense of each client’s needs. As we walk forward, each session is structured around the work we’re doing, your specific needs, and any discipline that I’ve decided has been earned.

Not everyone wants to do more intentional, deeper self reflection and I understand that. For some, receiving discipline is adequate and I am willing to accommodate if that’s where you’re most comfortable- I offer a session called Acceptance for these clients.

For those clients who are ready to do some processing around behavior, life-patterns, and not-so-good choices, and for those who are looking for a more encompassing Domestic Discipline experience that leads to longer term real-life change, I offer both one-time sessions and a longer term program that accomplishes that.

In addition to having more than 16 years of parenting four kids under my belt, I am a professional with 10+ years of case management, crisis intervention, and direct service provision experience. I am equipped, experienced, and ready to help you change your life in tangible ways if you’re ready to invest in yourself.

Do you only accept men as clients?

I love helping people figure out who they are and explore different parts of themselves. That means everyone. Discipline needs aren’t exclusive to one gender.

Are you able to make me cry during a spanking?

Anyone can make you cry out as the result of physical pain, but the emotional reaction that comes from connecting your behavior to your consequences is not something that can be manufactured by me.

Though I want you to get the most emotionally out of your session, and I understand that for some crying is important to many people, this is not an experience I can or cannot create for you. The more deeply you emotionally connect with your consequences, the more you will get out of your discipline- I will encourage and help you to do that, but I can’t do it for you. 

However, if you are concerned that you are not going to get the spanking you need and deserve, I would like to assure you right now that you will never have to worry about that. 

Do you use safe words?

 No. Safe words will not be necessary, nor are they allowed

Our relationship is built on trust and letting me determine the spanking you need and deserve is part of that trust. The spanking you get would not be effective as intended if you were to have the ability to stop it just because it was unpleasant in the moment. 

During the application process and initial consultation, you’ll be able to list your “hard limits” or firm boundaries. Along with reality or limit testing (for those intending to see me more than once), or using my experience and excellent read of a person who I am spanking, we will quickly have both a spoken and instinctive set of boundaries established for both emotional and physical safety.

For Discovery Sessions, any spanking that happens will be completely optional and will include lots of communication.

However, for those who desire to have more than one session in order to address real life changes, we will eventually move into a consensual non-consent agreement around your discipline. In these cases it’s real discipline for real behavior.

What is “reality testing”?

In my experience, many people who finally seek out disciplinary spankings do so after years and years of thinking about it. During that time it can often become romanticized, or for some, the thought of it can become really exciting– it’s a process where one can easily forget the fact that disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt.

Reality testing is simply that first true disciplinary spanking someone gets to test what they think about it in reality, instead of just imagination. It includes determining what kind of physical pain limits you have, how you respond to certain implements, and the verbal processing that follows. Often spanking has been idealized for so long that one needs to come to terms with the reality that a disciplinary spanking is not enjoyable in the moment, even if it remains true that you need them in life.

How long does an actual spanking last?

Well, an actual spanking doesn’t always last very long, and anyone I’ve ever spanked hasn’t wanted it to. The length of the spanking you receive can depend on a variety of factors in a given situation. What I do know is that you’ll want it to be over before it is over.

Can I give you input regarding my spanking, or how does that work? Do you do roleplay and enact spanking fantasies/scenarios?

Your input is actually a critical component of how I individually tailor and structure our sessions together, which is why I have a thorough application process.

However, I will not entertain fantasy scenes. I am a real-life disciplinarian, not an actress.

If role play is a verbal processing method that we can use to work through any emotional blocks you may be experiencing around understanding, exploring, or accepting the part of you that knows it needs discipline, we can discuss this. 

Regarding actual spanking scenarios however, I am open to a degree of reality-based role play if it achieves emotional freedom from a real-life past event. Some people sit with years of lingering guilt from something they did and got away with, either in the past or recently. In these cases, I am willing to discuss the possibility of a reality-based role play where we revisit that moment in time, and administer the spanking that you should have gotten.

While I am open to talking through any role play issues, fetishizing or sexualizing discipline is not something I do. Again, there are many other wonderful providers in Orange County who are better suited to bring that to life for you.

What kind of implements do you usually spank with? Will you take my preferences into account?

While I love a good old fashioned hand spanking and definitely have my favorite paddle, I have several implements with which I administer discipline with. 

Some clients have implements that are sentimental favorites, while others have aversions to certain implements rooted in deep trauma. I’m sensitive to your experiences and what’s shaped them so that we can work to create the safest and most effective discipline experience possible. The application process includes getting a sense of any particular preferences you have, as well as any implements that will be considered “hard limits” and never used.

In addition to that, I’m skilled at assigning alternative and complementary punishments to complete your discipline. Alternative and complementary punishments can include (but are not limited to):

Reflective consequences, mouth soaping, assigned chores with a restorative focus, corner time, etc. Like implements, in your application process we’ll look at what complementary punishment methods will be on the table for you, and which ones will not be.

Do you have any other disciplinarians who work with you?

I do, actually, for those clients who would benefit from that. I have a male disciplinarian who exclusively works with me a few times throughout the year. He shares all of my core values and beliefs, and is essentially a male version of me– a mid 40’s real-life spanking dad who understands the deep rooted nature of discipline needs.

Like me, he didn’t arrive here because of a sexualized or fetish interest in spanking, but through a similar combination of raising children who independently initiated spanking in the home, as well as through his work as a coach and mentor. After noticing a pattern of both male and female clients confiding in him about this deep need for accountability and discipline, we began working together to serve those clients who might want or need to experience a male disciplinarian or a “parental” feel of having both of us together, but who also want the emotional safety of knowing there is not a sexual component or fetish motivation for him.

He is available by advanced request for either individual sessions, phone sessions (he provides incredibly wise and insightful guidance) or sessions with both of us together.

Will you protect my privacy? Are you discreet? Do you have a place to meet?

I do not offer in-call discipline sessions. I find that a home, office, or other location you feel is safe and secure is the best place to administer discipline. If you have concerns about privacy, noise, or confidentiality, we can work around those to find solutions and will discuss that in our initial meeting.

Whether it is a more formal business attire, business casual, or current everyday attire, I am a professional who can blend to fit the environment in which we will be meeting. While I’m sure that you have only the best of intentions, do not ask me to meet you in an abandoned warehouse or in a back alley. Seriously, just don’t.

Regarding your privacy, this is one of my highest concerns. You can expect the same degree of professional privacy and protection from me that you’d experience from a medical professional or lawyer. In fact, part of the intake process will include us both signing a mutual confidentiality and nondisclosure agreement, which will legally protect both our privacy.

Do you travel for sessions or offer phone consultations / sessions?

Yes. 

When traveling out of Orange County during times I’m willing to book sessions, I will post cities and dates here on my site. 

I also am available for travel directly to those clients who are ready to invest in the most authentic discipline experience they can imagine. In these cases we’ll work to negotiate details so that we can maximize the benefit of your discipline investment. When filling out the initial contact form simply indicate you’re willing to invest in me coming to you, and I’ll send you that application to get things started.

How do I book a session with you?

Well, you don’t automatically get to book a session– you can apply to book a session.

The first step is to fill out the initial contact form which has some basic information, such as whether you would be a one-time client from out of town with only specific availability for your session, or if you live in the geographical area and have more flexibility as to when we would schedule our first meeting.

If I am available and your initial contact seems like you’d be an appropriate candidate to become a client, you’ll hear back from me and I’ll send you the preliminary questions & paperwork you’ll need to complete in order for us to officially book the session. Knowing who I will be working with, and knowing as much about your needs up front as I can, is critical to a successful session for both of us. As such, I will not formally book your session unless or until we’ve completed the intake. 

Do you have any advice on things I could do or not do that would help get my session approved?

Absolutely.

Be respectful, be serious, and be flexible.

First, those who have their sessions approved are individuals who understand I am a professional service provider, and who have the same respectful interaction that you’d be expected to have anywhere else. If you do not address me respectfully, or if there are any inappropriate comments in your initial session request, you’ll never hear back from me.

Second, be serious about exploring or addressing your discipline needs– because they’re serious needs to me. The clients I am most motivated to work with are the ones who show a commitment to themselves, who are ready to discover and explore their potential needs, or to finally have their actualized needs met, and who sincerely desire to grow and develop in various ways. 

Finally, be flexible. If you’re from out of town and have only one date available, I may or may not be able to accommodate that. If you give a choice of dates, or are locally located and intending to do longer-term work together, flexibility in your schedule will dramatically improve our ability to work together.

 

Will you endlessly email me back and forth to talk about my secret spanking needs?

No. 

I understand that each individual person comes with a different story and different needs– and when it comes to my clients, I am deeply invested in uncovering and understanding them. 

I do this because I know how deep, foundational, and critical spanking needs are to those who have them. In fact, the key reason why I do this is because I know how deep these needs run, and know what can happen to a person when the need goes unmet. 

The bulk of my job is one of emotional labor– a labor of love in helping people discover, understand, and embrace themselves. Because I pour so much of myself into this process, it is one I exclusively reserve for my clients– because they deserve nothing less.

If you’re wanting or needing to explore your spanking needs but cannot have a personal session with me, I would be happy to offer you phone consultations/sessions where we can do that.

What should I call you, and what are the expectations for how I’m expected to act during our session?

I am not a Mistress, nor a goddess. I am Maia or Ma’am. While our sessions include spanking, I am a professional. If you wouldn’t say it or do it with a counselor or case manager, don’t do it with me– it won’t get you a harder spanking, it’ll just lead to the session ending immediately with no refund.

Do you require a down payment or prepayment?

Yes. Like yours, my time is valuable. I require that new clients put a 50% deposit on their first few sessions. If you are unable to make your session and need to reschedule, I require 24 hours notice. 

Once the session is formally booked, what should I do in preparation for the session?

I want us both feeling as comfortable as possible and ready for a successful session together. 

Our meeting will need to start and end on time and you will need to be freshly showered. Please be prepared for our first meeting to be in public.

At any sessions following, I ask that you bring any implements or materials you’d like to consider using or to discuss. 

If you cannot make our scheduled meeting, you will need to give me 24 hours notice. Anything less than 24 hours notice will mean a forfeiture of your deposit. If you no-show me once, I may consider rebooking and giving you a second chance; if I am no-showed a second time there will be no further opportunities to book a session with me.

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